Of Heroes and Sea Monsters
by Athena mou
Summary: Events taking place in the summer of 1919 changes things for Mary, and brings Matthew back into her life. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Rating**: PG-13 to NC-17, depending on the chapter

**Spoilers**: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: The weeks after Lavinia's funeral had been trying for everyone. Matthew had withdrawn from all family gatherings, dividing his time solely between work and the progress of the cottages. Mary had seen him from a distance a few times, but each time he had managed to disappear before she could catch up with him.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

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><p>...<p>

**Of Heroes and Sea Monsters**

**Chapter 1**

The weeks after Lavinia's funeral had been trying for everyone. Matthew had withdrawn from all family gatherings, dividing his time solely between work and the progress of the cottages. Mary had seen him from a distance a few times, but each time he had managed to disappear before she could catch up with him.

Spring had turned into early summer. The Village Flower Show came and was a huge success. Matthew had been there, standing in the back of the hall. Mary had tried to make her way over to him, but he had slipped out before she reached him. She sighed heavily and plastered a look of calm sereneness on her face that she seemed to display so often these days.

Isobel watched the two, growing more and more impatient. She had tried to talk to Matthew about it a few times, but he was adamant about not seeing Mary. Isobel's face hardened. She had tried to reason with her son, but to no avail. Matthew had made his mind up.

So it was a complete surprise to Mary when on a warm Saturday afternoon in mid June he came to her and sat down next to her on the bench, _their_ bench.

"Cousin Mary," he said with a gentle smile before staring straight ahead, admiring the beautiful green landscape.

"Matthew." She smiled and waited for him to say something.

"I have been a fool," he said in a hollow voice. "And I fear that it has cost me my happiness."

"Oh Matthew," she said and sighed, gently resting her hand on his arm. He flinched at her touch and she started to remove her hand. To her surprise he covered it.

"Please don't," he said softly.

"I have worried about you," she confessed. "And I have missed you greatly."

"I know," he said and smiled sadly at her. "I have treated you terribly. You cared for her too, and I said such harsh words to you."

"Let's not dwell over the past, Matthew," she said cheerfully and smiled at him. "It is a beautiful day. Would you care to walk with me?"

"I think I would like that," he said and nodded.

Matthew offered her his arm and together they strolled further away from the house.

"Are you sure that you should be alone with me so far from the house?" he teased and smiled at her. "What would Carlisle say if he knew?"

"Well, he will not know, unless you tell him. Frankly I do not think it is any of his business if I want to spend time with my cousin."

"You know that is not all there is to it," he said in a gentle voice. He stopped and took her hand. "So much has transpired between us. God, Mary. We have been hurting for so long. It pleases me so that we are friends again."

"Friends," she said and looked away. "I wonder if we can ever be just friends after what has happened. We share too much Matthew."

"Yet there is something that you have not told me," he said seriously. "I sensed it all those years ago when you refused to give me your answer. I sense it again now. Does Carlisle have a hold on you? Does he know something that I don't?"

Mary sighed and shook her head. "Please, Matthew. I cannot tell you. You will forever despise me." She smiled at him and gently placed her palm against his cheek. "Leave it alone and let us move forward as it is. If I know that at least you think highly of me, my life will be so much easier to bear." She steered him towards the small pond and the shade by the weeping willows.

"Dear God, Mary!" he exclaimed. "Now you have me really worried."

"As you said, it is in the past. What good will it do you to learn of events that took place so long ago?"

"Whatever it is, it is still haunting you now."

Matthew stopped and took off his coat. Spreading it out on the soft grass for her to sit on, he helped her down. Easing down next to her he placed his hand over hers in the grass. And there, in the shadow of a weeping willow, surrounded by the calmness of the early afternoon, after almost eight years, a war, happiness and sorrow, Mary finally told him. She spared no detail, relaying the events of the dreadful night that so changed her life forever. His hand tightened around hers at one point and she sighed heavily. Determined to tell him everything, the words continued to spill from her lips until she hung her head in exhaustion over bearing her soul to him.

Matthew swallowed hard. His Mary. His Andromeda, pure and strong, had been violated by a sea monster. No, he corrected himself; she had allowed a man into her bed. He closed his eyes and an image of Mary's face as she held her lover in her arms came to him. He opened his eyes to erase it and stared out over the calm water, such a contrast to the storm raging inside him.

"Did you love him?" he asked, wondering why his voice sounded like he was about to cry.

"How could I?" she exclaimed. "I barely knew him!"

He nodded. "And he did not force you?"

"No, Matthew. We shared a moment of passion, of lust. Nothing more."

"Don't make a joke about it, please," he snapped.

Mary nodded and looked away. She tried to remove her hand from under his, but to her surprise he held on tightly. She looked at him and their eyes met. His hand came up to touch her cheek and it felt wet. She realized that she must be crying. The next she knew, she was in his arms. He held her close as she cried for the first time over what had happened.

Matthew held her and stroked her back as she cried until she had no more tears to shed. He handed her his clean handkerchief and she wiped her face. He smiled sadly and tucked her head under his chin again.

"I'm glad you told me," he said finally.

"So you have forgiven me?" she asked surprised and sat up.

"No," he said and smiled at her. He ran his finger down her cheek. "Because there is nothing to forgive."

Mary just stared at him and finally nodded. "Thank you."

"I wish that you had told me sooner. Not back then. I honestly don't know if I could have handled it then. I was an even bigger fool back then," he said and chuckled. Matthew looked at her. "I just wish that I could have been there for you. I am sure that it has been hard to live with."

Mary nodded. "I do not know how the rumors started, only that they did. Apparently they came from Downton," she said and sighed. She knew exactly who had sold her out, but she did not need to burden him with that knowledge.

"Well, I do know now, and you can be assured that I still think highly of you. We have both made mistakes. You have my support, no matter what."

"I assume that you're talking about Richard."

"I am." Matthew sighed heavily. "Mary, do you really love him?"

"Of course I don't," she said and frowned. "That has nothing to do with it."

"It should," he said softly. "Marriage is a long commitment."

"Don't I know it," she said and made a face. "Especially for our lot."

"You cannot go through with it," he exclaimed. "Stay here. Let us run Downton together. I could never have a finer ally than you."

Mary laughed. "Matthew, do not make promises that you cannot keep."

He grabbed her arm and waited until she looked at him. "Whatever happens, you will always have a home here. My door will always be open for you, no matter what. Please remember that."

Mary smiled and nodded. "Thank you. I know you mean it."

They sat by the pond, talking quietly until the sun started to set. Arm in arm they slowly walked back to the house.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Rating**: PG-13 to NC-17, depending on the chapter

**Spoilers**: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: The weeks after Lavinia's funeral had been trying for everyone. Matthew had withdrawn from all family gatherings, dividing his time solely between work and the progress of the cottages. Mary had seen him from a distance a few times, but each time he had managed to disappear before she could catch up with him.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

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><p>...<p>

**Chapter 2**

Their walks soon became a common occurrence. Matthew started to come up to the big house for dinner again and it felt like things were almost back to normal. Only when Richard Carlisle paid them a visit did things seem to become tense and uncomfortable.

Mary was relieved when Richard told her that he was going to be in Paris in August and September. She kissed him goodbye and watched the car disappear down the driveway. She was trembling, even though she was standing in the warm July sun. Richard's hold on her as he kissed her had seemed more possessive than ever, and it had scared her. His lips had been hard against hers and he had held her so tightly. Mary shivered again and returned inside.

Mr. Carson watched his favorite Crawley say goodbye to her fiancé. The way the man touched Lady Mary set Carson's teeth on edge. He knew she was a gentle soul at heart. Having known her since she was a little girl, Carson could see past her face of bravery, perhaps better than anyone. He stepped closer to her as she walked through the door.

"Are you all right, milady?"

Mary smiled at him and it warmed his heart. She gently patted his arm as she passed him.

"Of course. Don't you worry, Carson."

"I will always worry about you, milady," he said seriously.

"Oh Carson, I wonder what I ever did to deserve your support," she said and smiled fondly at him.

"You know, milady, even an old butler has his favorites."

Mary chuckled. She glanced around noticing that they were alone. She threw her arms around Carson's neck and hugged him.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me."

He held her and rubbed her back to comfort her. "Always, milady." After a moment he gently removed her arms from around his neck. "Now, Lady Mary, I suggest you return to your room. I will send Anna up in a moment."

Mary grinned and nodded. "Of course, Carson."

Carson shook his head as he watched her cross the great hall and gracefully take the stairs. Lady Mary was in his eyes the rightful heir to Downton. She had been raised to be its mistress. If anyone had Downton in her blood, it was Lady Mary. He sighed and pulled at his waistcoat. There was not much he could do about it, he thought. Until the day Lady Mary would marry that dreadful Sir Richard Carlisle, Carson would be her rock and support

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Mary looked up from her book and smiled at Matthew. He looked slightly flustered, his face red from the heat.

"Hello," she said cheerfully when he sat down next to her. "I did not expect to see you today."

"This infernal heat makes it unbearable to be inside," he said and wiped his forehead and neck with his handkerchief.

"We could walk down to the pond," she suggested. "I am sure that it is cooler by the water."

Matthew nodded and licked his dry lips. "Do you think that Mrs. Patmore could spare some of that delightful lemonade of hers?"

Mary laughed and nodded. "I am certain of it. Let me arrange for it."

Matthew smiled as he watched her walk back up to the house. She returned a few minutes later.

"I asked for a small picnic basket."

"Splendid," he said and smiled.

Matthew shared a story about one of his clients with her as they waited. She was laughing at his description of the man when Anna showed up with a blanket and a small picnic basket.

"Here you go, milady. I asked Mrs. Patmore for some sweet treats and a couple of her meat pies. I know how fond Mr. Crawley is of them."

"Thank you, Anna," Matthew said and grinned at her.

Anna smiled and nodded. She handed Matthew the blanket hanging over her left arm. He smiled at her.

"Will that be all, milady?"

"Yes, thank you Anna." Mary smiled fondly at her maid.

"Well, shall we?" Matthew said cheerfully and offered Mary his arm. "I cannot wait to get away from this dreadful sun."

Mary laughed and took his arm. Anna smiled to herself as she watched them leave. She still prayed for Lady Mary to come to her senses and break off her engagement to Sir Richard Carlisle. Anna shivered. The man gave her the chills.

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"How about over there?" Matthew suggested and pointed to a spot to their left.

"No, that will not work at all," Mary said and shook her head.

"Why not?" he asked surprised.

"That is a favorite spot for the ducks," she said and made a face.

"Oh," he laughed and shook his head at the thought of her stepping in the mess left by the birds. "How about over there then?" he said and gestured to another weeping willow to their right.

"That seems like a good spot."

He smiled at her and they strolled over. He spread out the blanket and brought the basket closer. Mary sat down and he joined her. They looked at each other for a moment and then laughed.

"Would you mind terribly if I take off my waistcoat and tie?" he asked.

"Of course not," she said and rolled her eyes. "Such items should be against the law to wear in a heat like this."

Matthew laughed and nodded. "Perhaps I will remove my shoes and socks too then."

Mary blushed but said nothing. She watched him roll up the legs of his trousers and then jump to his feet. He walked down to the pond and stepped into the water. She laughed when he cried out as the cold water hit his warm feet. He held out his hand to her.

"Come, join me. The water is delightful and you will feel quite refreshed."

Mary laughed and thought about it for a moment. Feeling his giddiness she grinned and nodded.

"You must turn around," she said and tried to look stern. "I have to pull up my skirt to remove my stockings."

"And if I refuse?" he teased.

"Matthew!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"All right," he muttered and turned around. "Just remember this next time you accuse me of being a dull boy."

Mary chuckled and shook her head. "Dull is not the word I would use today, not with you looking like that."

"Looking like what?" he said and frowned. He started to turn but she cried out.

"Don't look!" she warned. "You do look different with your shirt open at the neck, sleeves rolled up and barefoot," she said.

Placing her stockings neatly by her shoes, Mary got up and walked barefoot across the grass.

"May I turn around now?" he asked when he heard her behind him.

"You may," she said softly.

Matthew turned and held out his hand to her as she stepped into the water. He held his breath as her slender foot dipped into the shallow water. She was holding her skirt up with her other hand giving him a close view of her naked calves. He swallowed nervously.

"Dear God, it's cold," she exclaimed and laughed.

Matthew tightened his grip on her hand and his other hand shot out to grab her waist as she swayed a little. They looked at each other, realizing just how close they were. Matthew stood still as she moved her hand up his arm to rest on his shoulder. Holding her gaze he leaned closer until their lips met. When he felt her lips separate under his he pulled her tightly against him. He had kissed her before, but it had never tasted like this. He stroked his tongue against hers and she moaned softly. He lifted her up, holding her firmer against him.

When they eventually separated they were both flushed and slightly out of breath. He took her hand and led her up to the blanket. They sat down close together. When he reached for her again she came to him and they stretched out together on the blanket. He kissed her brows, her eyes, her cheeks and then her lips. Not until the moment when he cupped her breast did they pull apart again.

"Matthew," she gasped. "We cannot."

He nodded and removed his hand. He sat up and rested his arms on his knees. Pulling the basket closer he opened it and pulled out the bottle of lemonade. He poured a glass and offered it to her.

"Lemonade?"

"Matthew," she said as she accepted the glass. "You know…"

"No need to explain, cousin," he said firmly. "You are engaged to another man. It was wrong of me. I apologize."

"For God's sake, Matthew," she said impatiently. "Can you hear how silly you sound? I would not have let you kiss me like that, had I not wanted to."

"But you do not want me. You want him."

"You know why I am with him. It has nothing to do with love or wanting him."

"Then break it off with him!" Matthew said angrily. He shook his head and sipped the cold lemonade. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to yell at you."

Mary nodded. "I love you, you know."

He looked at her dark head, bowed down looking at the glass in her hands. He touched her chin and she looked up at him.

"And I love you. Always have, and always will."

She closed her eyes and made a face as if in pain. "Oh Matthew, why are we going down this road again? What good can come from it? Only you have the power to really hurt me."

He was stunned by her words. "I do not wish to cause you pain," he said softly. "If Carlisle is indeed your choice, I will fade into the shadows forever."

"But I don't want you to!" she cried out. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Don't you know that by now?"

He threw out his arm in frustration. "Then what do you want from me, Mary? Please tell me, because I don't know anymore."

"Nothing, Matthew. We had our chance and we lost it. I have no more claims on you."

"And if I should want you to?"

"Matthew, please," she whispered. "Let's leave it."

Matthew sighed and nodded. "Do you want to return to the house?"

She looked at him and shook her head. "Can we just enjoy the day together without talking about the future? Just you and me, here right now?"

He nodded and caressed her cheek. "If that is what you want."

"It is."

To be continued…

Reviews are love, and like catnip for the muse!


	3. Chapter 3

**Rating**: NC-17 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: They had tried hard not to cross the line again, but it turned out to be futile. A week later when they were again down by the pond, Matthew sat down behind her on the blanket. Mary was stretched out on her side, reading.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

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><p><em>.<em>

**Chapter 3**

They had tried hard not to cross the line again, but it turned out to be futile. A week later when they were again down by the pond, Matthew sat down behind her on the blanket. Mary was stretched out on her side, reading. Tiny little baby hairs clung to the nape of her neck in the heat. He pressed his handkerchief against her neck. She shrieked as the cold wet fabric touched her hot skin.

"Hush," he said gently. "I dipped it in the pond. Here, see how it will cool you down."

Mary's heart beat faster as he moved the handkerchief over her neck. She shivered again and slowly sat up. Their eyes met and a second later they came together in a heated kiss. He lowered her to the blanket. Their naked feet brushed against each other and he pulled her closer.

"Mary, oh Mary," he whispered between kisses.

Mary gasped when his lips nipped at her neck. "Oh God!"

Matthew kissed and licked her warm skin, tasting the slight saltiness of it. When she wrapped a leg around his he groaned and pulled her closer.

"God, Mary, how I desire you," he gasped and cupped her face.

"Yes," she whispered.

She was only wearing a thin summer dress and her chemise on this hot August day. He slowly slipped them off her and lowered her to the blanket again. Only dressed in her silky knickers she was stunning. Matthew ran his hand over her stomach as he leaned down to kiss her again.

Mary unbuttoned his shirt and brushed it off his shoulders. He shook it off and tossed it aside. Lowering himself on top of her he sighed as he felt her soft breasts press against his chest.

"Ouch," she hissed.

Matthew pulled back and looked confused at her. "Did I hurt you?"

"Your belt buckle is a bit sharp," she said and blushed.

"Shall I remove it?" he said and swallowed.

Her eyes were so dark when they met his. He held his breath, waiting for her answer. The tip of her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

"Yes," she said in a shaky whisper.

Matthew undid his belt and removed his pants. Turning back to her he smiled when she moved towards him, tangling her legs with his. Their lips met in a deep kiss. Matthew was in awe that she allowed him to touch her like this. He ran his hand up her side and cupped her breast, brushing his thumb over the nipple.

"Oh," she gasped and clung to him.

Matthew grinned and kissed her on the neck. He kept playing with her nipple all the while placing kisses on her shoulders and along her collar bone. When he took the other nipple in his mouth and sucked gently she cried out and her body arched up to meet his mouth. He held her against him as he licked and sucked the pink little tip until it was firm and dark, only then did he move to the other one.

Mary gasped and trembled. He had only kissed her and touched her breasts, yet she saw stars behind her eyelids. She caressed his back and squeezed his shoulders, gently pushing on them. She wanted more, needed more. When his fingers brushed over the edge of her knickers she sighed.

"Yes," she whispered and moved her hips to allow him to slide them off her.

Matthew sat on his knees next to her for a moment, just gazing at her. She was so incredibly beautiful. He caressed her thigh and she pulled up her knee. As her legs separated he got the first glimpse of her sex. He swallowed hard. She was stunning. He moved his hand higher and stroked gently over her womanhood. His finger came away wet, coated in her sweet essence. She let out a high-pitched whimper as his finger touched her clitoris. Unable to contain his desire any further Matthew pushed her legs up and out, opening her up completely. He pressed his lips against her.

"God!" she cried out and her whole body shook.

Matthew licked and swirled his tongue over her. He dipped it inside her and then stroked along the entire length of her sex. Mary moaned in pleasure and her fingers tangled in his hair. She was so wet. The thought that his touch had caused it made him swell with pride and he felt his manhood tighten. He sucked her little spot into his mouth and stroked it softly with the tip of his tongue. She whimpered and bucked under him. Matthew reached up and brushed his fingers over her nipple, twirling it until it was again hard. Her little sounds egged him on and when he could no longer suppress his own need, he pulled himself up and knelt between her legs. He removed his underwear with a firm tug and tossed them aside. Sliding his hands up her legs and under her thighs, he pushed her knees up and lowered himself between her legs, aligning his manhood with her opening. She was so wet he immediately slid inside a little. With a loud moan he pushed inside her.

Mary cried out and grabbed his arms. Matthew froze and stared at her. He had felt the resistance as he pushed through it, but had been unable to stop at that point. Lodged completely inside her he looked in panic at her.

"Mary," he whispered. "Dear God, why did you not tell me?"

He started to ease out of her, but stopped when her knees tightened around him.

"Just hold still for a moment," she gasped, her eyes still closed tightly.

He nodded. He could feel her body grip him hard. "Are you in pain?"

She made a face and then smiled as her body relaxed around him. "Only for a short moment. I'm fine now."

He held her gaze as he pushed back inside her. She smiled at him and stroked his chest. After a moment they were both panting hard and he moved faster. Her feet pressed against his buttocks, encouraging him on. When she clenched hard against him and waves of passion went through her body he felt himself peak and he pushed deep inside her as he roared out his release and passion. They clung to each other for a long moment until he rolled to the side, taking her with him. He felt himself slip out of her and pulled her to him.

"Does he know what I stole from him?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"No," she whispered. "He assumed the same you did. That I had given my virginity to a foreigner in a moment of weakness."

Mary rolled away from him to lie on her back and he sat up. His thigh was sticky from where she had pressed against him. Noticing the color he looked at her with concern on his face.

"Darling," he said, trying out the endearment. "You are bleeding."

Mary blushed and looked away. "Is that not to be expected?"

"Are you in pain?" he asked worried.

"Just a little sore. Nothing to worry about," she said and smiled at him. "I'm sure it will go away soon. Anyway it is a small price to pay for the pleasure we just shared, don't you think?"

Matthew nodded. "I still feel guilty."

"Don't. It was my choice. I wanted it to be you."

Matthew actually trembled when her words sank in. He caressed her cheek and smiled at her.

"I am honored."

Mary chuckled and nodded. "It should be Perseus and not the sea monster who gets Andromeda, would you not agree?"

He laughed and nodded. She held out her hand to him and he pulled her into his arms again. It felt so right to hold her like this, her head on his shoulder, her slender arm wrapped around his waist as he moved his hands over her long, smooth back. He grinned at her and grabbed her buttocks and pulled her up and against him. She laughed and eased up on her elbow.

"Should the world end today, know that I am perfectly happy in your arms, my darling," she said and kissed him.

Matthew felt the passion return and rolled her over on her back. He caressed her breasts and then slipped his hand between her legs, stroking gently. They smiled at each other and she laughed when he gasped as her fingers closed around his manhood. Then she made a face.

"You're sticky," she said.

Matthew pulled away and grabbed his underwear. He wiped himself clean, blushing at the discoloration on the fabric. He looked at her and noticed the pink hue on her cheeks.

"It's all right," he said and smiled. "I think it only happens the first time."

She nodded. Spotting her closed hand he reached for his trousers and pulled out a clean handkerchief. He gently wiped her hand and kissed her palm. She giggled. Matthew intertwined their fingers and kissed her knuckles. With a smile he pushed her hand down and wrapped her fingers around him. She giggled again as she slowly moved her hand over him.

"Am I doing it right?" she whispered.

"Your touch is wonderful," he said and kissed her.

Mary sighed and whimpered softly when he stroked between her legs, circling her little spot. He eased a finger inside her and she pushed up against him, gasping in pleasure. He pulled her closer and pushed her leg up as he very slowly eased inside her. She whimpered a little and her brows furrowed when he first entered her. He held still for a moment to allow her to get used to his presence and then slowly eased in the rest of the way. She arched up against him. Eyes closed, her mouth slightly open, she had never been more beautiful to him. He eased out and then slid back inside. She moaned softly and her legs tightened around him.

"Oh Matthew," she gasped. "I feel like I am bursting into flames."

He grinned and moved faster, pushing into her in long steady strokes, then shorter as he sped up. They were gasping and moaning as they pushed each other towards release. This time he felt himself at the brink before her, but held back, gritting his teeth as he tried not to peak before her. She whimpered and gasped and seemed to be close. Knowing that a woman might need more than the feel of him inside her, Matthew pressed his fingers against her clitoris, rubbing fast circles around it as he moved inside her. Mary shook and tightened around him, clearly enjoying the touch. He closed his eyes, focusing on her. When he heard her cry out and felt her close so hard around him, he allowed himself to let go and they flew over the brink into the abyss together.

Matthew hung his head, his arms were shaking and he was gasping for air. Below him Mary panted and her hands against his chest trembled. He forced his eyes open to look at her. Mary's face was flushed and her chest covered in a fine film of perspiration. Her nipples were still firm, reaching up at him. He lowered his head and kissed first one, then the other. She giggled and ran her hand through his hair.

"We are pretty good at this," he said and grinned.

"Proud of yourself are you, Mr. Crawley?" she teased.

He wiggled above her and she gasped at the sensation. He was still inside her, even though he could feel himself relax.

"Come, swim with me," he said and grinned at the idea.

"Swim?" she said and chuckled.

"We are sweaty and smell of intimacy. We can hardly get dressed like this."

Realizing that he was correct she looked at him in panic. "Anna will notice."

"The water is right there."

Matthew slowly eased out of her and knelt between her legs. He took her hands and pulled her up until she was sitting. She blushed when she saw his manhood. Even in its current semi-firm condition it was impressive.

"Come darling," Matthew said as he got up.

Mary took his hand and hand in hand they walked down to the pond. He had been right. The water was refreshing and Mary laughed with joy when he spun her around in the waist-deep water. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and kissed him. She gasped when he lowered her enough to enter her. Mary held on to his shoulders as they moved together with ease in the water. She whimpered and leaned back when he sucked hard on her nipple. She dug her nails into his shoulders when she felt herself climax again, shaking and crying out her release.

Matthew could not believe how passionate she was. Lady Mary Crawley who always seemed so calm and collected obviously carried a lot of hidden passion. He cried out her name as he pushed deeper, pulling her down hard on him as he released inside her again.

"Dear God, Mary," he gasped and cradled her against him.

She unwrapped her legs from around him and eased down until her feet were again on the sandy bottom. She scooped up some water and poured it over his chest, sliding her wet hands over him. He smiled and took them before kissing her softly. Easing back he stretched out in the water, pulling her along. They swam towards the middle of the pond where they came together in a tight embrace again. When Mary finally started to feel the chill of the water they swam back to shore and stretched out on the blanket letting their tired bodies dry in the warm air. Matthew closed his eyes enjoying the feel of her next to him, and her gentle fingers drawing patterns on his chest.

"We were careless, Mary," he said seriously. He turned and looked her in the eyes. "We cannot do this again like this."

Mary looked away. "I see."

He guided her back to him. "What I mean is that you could get pregnant."

Mary blushed and nodded. "Of course." She laughed sarcastically. "Well that would certainly be the icing on the cake, would it not?"

"Please, don't do that," he said seriously. He leaned on his elbow. "I do not think that I can live without being with you again. Not now when I know what it is like to share your passion."

"I know," she whispered.

"There is a way, but I need to go to London in order to get it."

Mary frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"A French Letter," he mumbled and his face turned red.

"I am afraid I have no idea what you are talking about."

"They were given to us when we were in France," he said. "To protect the soldiers from disease, should they be intimate with anyone while over there. It is a thin cover that slips onto my manhood. It will also protect you from getting pregnant."

"I see," she said seriously. "And you cannot find a French Letter here?"

Matthew laughed. "I sense some urgency on your part, my darling."

Mary blushed. "Richard will be back in a few weeks. And when fall comes…"

She did not have to explain it to him. He knew all too well how limited their time was in this secluded paradise of theirs.

"Please tell me that you will break it off with him," Matthew pleaded.

"Let's not talk about it now," she said and looked away.

"Mary, after what we just shared, how can you honestly say that you can marry him?"

"Is that your odd way of proposing?" she said stiffly.

"No. when I propose to you, you will know it," he said and sat up.

"I need time, Matthew," she said and sighed. "Let's enjoy these few weeks we have and then see what happens."

Matthew sighed in frustration but nodded. "You know I cannot deny you anything."

They got dressed quietly and he folded the blanket together. He was glad that it was his since it showed evidence of their intimate encounter. He grabbed the basket and then offered her his hand. She took it and smiled at him when he pulled her close for a kiss.

"I do love you," she whispered and caressed his face. "Now more than ever."

_To be continued…_

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><p><em>.<em>

_Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts while waiting for an update._

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	4. Chapter 4

**Not sure why this did not show up yesterday. The site has been acting strange so perhaps it's server related. Chapter 4 showed up fine for me, but apparently not for everyone. Hope this works! :)**

**.**

**Rating**: NC-17 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: Matthew had indeed gone to London. Left alone at Downton, Mary strolled across the grounds, thinking about what had happened. Getting more and more restless she took to riding, pushing poor Diamond until the horse has foaming at the mouth, his sides wet with sweat. She even went swimming once in their pond, but it did not hold the same appeal without Matthew.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

Thank you for the wonderful reviews and story alerts!

Nothing is more inspiring, than knowing that others like your work! :)

_._

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

**Chapter 4**

Matthew had indeed gone to London. Left alone at Downton, Mary strolled across the grounds, thinking about what had happened. Getting more and more restless she took to riding, pushing poor Diamond until the horse has foaming at the mouth, his sides wet with sweat. She even went swimming once in their pond, but it did not hold the same appeal without Matthew.

Anna noticed the change in Lady Mary and kept a close eye on her. If she had any say she would tell her mistress to send Sir Richard packing and throw herself into Matthew Crawley's arms, proclaiming her undying love for him. Anna snickered to herself at the image of Lady Mary behaving like the heroine in one of Anna's favorite romance stories.

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><p>.<p>

Matthew returned to her on a warm afternoon in late August. Mary was sitting on their bench when his shadow fell over her. She grinned up at him and wished that she could embrace him right then and there. Naturally she could not do that. They were far too close to the house for that kind of display of intimacy.

"Matthew!"

"Did you miss me?" he asked, grinning widely.

"Of course I did, silly," she said and made a face at him.

"I brought you a present," he said and handed her a small bag.

Mary raised an eyebrow. He laughed and shook his head. "No, not that. This is only for you."

She opened the bag and laughed. Inside were a handful of little sugary sweets that she once had told him that she was very fond of.

"Thank you, that's very kind of you."

"Would you like to go for walk?" he asked.

"Do you have to ask?"

He got up and offered her his arm. They strolled towards the pond.

"Richard called," she said and looked out over the endless green on her right. "He is returning to England in four weeks."

"I see."

"He wants to come here of course."

"I would expect nothing less," he muttered.

"If I break it off with him he will publish the story. I will be ruined, Matthew. My family does not deserve that."

"You must not marry a man you cannot stand in order to protect your family!" he exclaimed upset.

"And why not? People have done it over and over through history. It is what our lot does."

"Please Mary, I beg you."

Mary sighed. "I will think about it. Now, can we please forget about Richard? I much rather hear about your trip to London."

He smiled and tugged her closer. "I have missed you something terrible."

"So have I."

"Have you thought about our encounter?" he asked carefully.

"Of course I have," she said and laughed.

"I cannot believe it was only about a ten days ago," he said, shaking his head.

Mary laughed when she spotted the blanket spread out in their spot. "I see someone has been busy," she teased.

"I did not want to make it too apparent up at the house," Matthew said nervously.

"That was very thoughtful of you, darling," she said and kissed his cheek.

Matthew pulled her close and kissed her. He picked her up and swung her around. She threw her arms around his neck and laughed with joy.

He put her down on the blanket and pulled her down so her head was in his lap. She giggled and took his hand, placing it on her stomach.

"I secured the item we discussed last time," Matthew said and stroked her stomach and brushed his fingers over her breasts.

Mary's breath hitched at the intimate touch. "A French Letter?" she whispered.

"Several actually," he said with a chuckle.

"Oh? How many do you need?" she asked confused.

"You can only use it once," he whispered in a hushed voice as if it was a secret.

"I see. Well, then I am pleased that you were resourceful enough to secure more than one."

"Oh Mary," he said and laughed.

"May I see it?" she asked.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small wrapped item. She turned it over and inspected it. He took it from her and opened it. Placing it in her palm he watched her as she fingered the soft material. She giggled when she put it over the tip of her finger. Their eyes met and he shook his head at her silliness.

"It appears that you have figured it out," he said and rolled his eyes.

"It is pretty self explanatory, Matthew darling," she said and handed it back to him.

"So…" he said unsure. "Am I to take it that you are not against discovering this?"

"Matthew," she said softly and touched his cheek. "Would I really be in this position with my head in your lap and your hand on my breast if I did not want to?"

"I would not think so, no," he said and smiled.

Mary sat up. "We do have to be careful," she said seriously. "But, Matthew, I have missed you so much."

He pulled her close and kissed her. Slowly unbuttoning her blouse he eased it off her. She reached for his shirt, pulling off his tie and then making quick work with the buttons. In no time they lay naked next to each other, delighting in the feel of the other's warm body. Matthew ran his hands over her soft skin, familiarizing himself with every curve and muscle. Her little sounds egged him on and he lowered his head, flicking his tongue over an already stiff nipple. Her fingers automatically slid through his hair, holding him against her. He sucked greedily and ran his hand up the inside of her thigh. She whimpered and gasped when his fingers stroked over her damp folds. He looked up at her.

"What would you like, my darling?" he asked her.

Mary blushed and pushed up against his hand. She twirled strands of his hair around her index fingers. He gently took her hands and waited for her to look at him.

"I cannot talk about these things," she mumbled and her face turned red.

"Try," he said and touched her cheek. "I want to know what feels good to you, what you prefer."

Mary swallowed. She licked her lips nervously. "I have enjoyed everything, Matthew."

"That is not what I meant. What would _you_ like?"

She covered her face with her hands. "Matthew," she groaned.

He laughed and removed her hands. He kissed her softly and then nuzzled her neck, making her laugh.

"Did you like when I touched your breasts?" She nodded. "What in particular did you like?"

"Your mouth," she whispered.

He lowered his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth, twirling his tongue around it before letting it slip out of his mouth.

"Like that?"

"Yes!" she gasped.

"That pleases me. I think I am in love with your breasts. Truly I am."

She giggled. "Matthew, you are impossible."

"What else? What was your favorite of my touches, not counting my manhood inside you since that is definitely a mutual pleasure?"

"My favorite?" she asked. He nodded. She ran her fingers over his chest, tracing his muscles. "Your mouth on me," she whispered.

"Where, my darling?" he teased and nibbled on her ear.

"Between my legs." Her voice was barely a whisper.

He caressed her cheek. "Then ask me for it," he encouraged. "Ask me to do it."

"I'm a lady! I do not speak of such things," she objected.

"You are also a woman, a very passionate woman, and as such I want you to know that you can ask for my touch, that you have a right to pleasure."

"Thank you."

"Now, tell me what you want, my darling."

Mary looked into his blue eyes, so kind and honest. There was no teasing twinkle there now, only eagerness. She took a deep breath and spoke softly.

"I want you to kiss me between my legs like you did last time, Matthew. It felt so incredibly good when you licked that special spot there."

"And you shall have it," he said empathically and kissed her fiercely, feeling her words like hot fire through his body.

Mary held her breath as he kissed her thighs. She eagerly pulled her knees up. When she felt his lips and tongue her eyes fluttered shut and she sighed at the delicious feeling. She took his hand and placed it on her breast. Her high-pitched whimper pierced the quiet afternoon when he pulled at the nipple while sucking softly on her clitoris. Mary tossed her head to the side as her back arched in pleasure. Then he slipped a finger inside her, rubbing against the top. Her toes curled, it felt so good.

Matthew could feel how close she was and thought that her bravery deserved a reward. Sucking and licking her, he pushed her towards the edge. She cried out and pulled at his hair as she shook in release. He sat up and watched her catch her breath. Slipping the French Letter onto his manhood he lowered himself and slowly entered her. She moaned and bucked up to accommodate him. He groaned in pleasure as he was surrounded by her soft heat.

"It feels a little different," she whispered.

"Not too bad, I hope," he said, slightly out of breath.

She shook her head and wrapped her legs around him. "Just different."

He eased out of her and then pushed all the way back in. They both moaned as they came together. Unable to hold back any longer Matthew sped up. He moved like a madman above her, but she did not seem to mind, quite the opposite, pulling him closer, scraping her nails against his back. He cried out his release and a few strokes later she clenched around him and gasped as she spent for the second time. Matthew pulled out and rolled onto his back. Mary giggled next to him and he opened his eyes to ask what was so funny when he realized that she was looking at his manhood.

"It looks like a wet silk sock," she said and laughed.

He looked down at his now limp penis and the condom that glistened in the sunlight. He slipped it off and flung it in the grass. He wiped himself clean and sat up.

"How do you feel?" he asked and caressed her thigh.

"Wonderful," she said and smiled at him. "Thirsty. Do you have anything to drink in that basket?"

He grinned and in no time presented her with a chilled glass of wine. He stretched out next to her, leaning on his elbow and watched her as he sipped his wine. When she smiled at him he kissed her, tasting the crisp wine on her tongue.

"I love you, Mary."

"I know, darling," she said and leaned against him. "I know."

_To be continued…_

_Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts while waiting for an update._

_I live for reviews!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Rating**: NC-17 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: Matthew looked out the window in his office. It was a gloomy day with drizzling rain and icy cold winds. Autumn was here and his time with Mary by their pond had come to an end. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. Whatever happened, he would always have the memories of her and the time they had shared during these precious weeks in the late summer of 1919.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

Thank you for the wonderful reviews and story alerts!

Nothing is more inspiring, than knowing that others like your work! :)

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

**Chapter 5**

Matthew looked out the window in his office. It was a gloomy day with drizzling rain and icy cold winds. Autumn was here and his time with Mary, by their pond had come to an end. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. Whatever happened, he would always have the memories of her and the time they had shared during these precious weeks in the late summer of 1919.

He knew why he was in such a rotten mood today, and it had nothing to do with the weather. Sir Richard Carlisle was coming back to Downton tonight and he would see him at dinner. The easy conversations with Mary and her family around the dinner table would be a thing of the past with Sir Richard present. He made a mental note to update Robert on the latest progress on the cottages. That should keep the conversation going for a while. If he knew Richard, he would most likely try to boast with stories from France.

A knock on the door startled him and he straightened up in his chair.

"Yes?" he said loudly.

His assistant stuck his head inside. "Lady Mary Crawley to see you, sir."

"Lady Mary?" Matthew said and jumped to his feet. "Well, what are you waiting for? Send her in!"

A moment later Mary sailed into the room and smiled at him. The door closed firmly behind her. They just stood silent, sizing each other up for a moment before he crossed the space to where she was standing and took her in his arms. She grasped at his shirt as she pulled him close. They stumbled towards his desk and she leaned against it as he pulled her skirt up slipping his hand inside her underwear. She hissed and pushed against him when his fingers brushed over her.

"Darling," he whispered against her cheek. "I have missed you."

"Oh Matthew," she gasped and pulled at his shirt.

Matthew fell to his knees, pulling down her silk underwear. Pushing her legs apart he opened his mouth wide, sucking her soft folds into his mouth. Mary stuck her fist in her mouth preventing a cry. She shook as he sucked hard on her clitoris.

He fumbled with the closure on his trousers and then swore.

"Mary," he whispered. She looked at him standing there holding his trousers together. "Darling, I did not expect you to visit. I do not have a French Letter with me."

"I see," she said thoughtfully. "Do you think it would be all right, just this once?"

"I don't know," he said hesitantly.

"Matthew, it will be all right."

He looked at her. Her eyes were dark with passion, her chest moved rapidly as she panted slightly. She wanted him. Matthew fumbled with his trousers and yanked them down before pushing her onto the desk, lifting her legs as he entered her. He ground his teeth together, biting back a loud groan. Her silky legs touched his sides, and he felt her shoe bump against his hip. It occurred to him that they had never before made love with their clothes on.

Matthew circled her clitoris in fast strokes as he frantically pushed inside her. She tightened around him and her body went rigid as she bit down hard on her knuckle when her release washed over her. Watching her, Matthew felt himself shake and he emitted deep inside her. He panted hard as he leaned over her.

"God Mary," he gasped. "Please tell me this was not the last time."

She sat up and he slipped out of her. He held her close for a long moment.

"Richard will be back tonight. I cannot see you alone while he is here."

"I understand that."

"I wish I knew what to do," she said and looked at him with so much sadness.

"You will know," he said and caressed her cheek. "When the time is right, you will know."

Matthew pulled his trousers up and gently wiped her clean before slipping her knickers back on. He kissed her silk-clad sex one last time before pulling her skirt down.

"Oh Matthew," she said and cupped his face.

She kissed him long and thoroughly, stroking her tongue against his. He held her against him memorizing the feel of her, her perfume, her special scent that was so uniquely her.

"You should go," he said softly. "It will only be harder the longer we wait."

"I know," she said and nodded. She cupped his cheek and mustered up a smile. "I will see you at dinner tonight."

He nodded. Walking her over to the door he pulled her back for a searing kiss before pushing her away and opening the door. They looked at each other before she smiled and nodded.

"I will see you tonight then, Cousin Matthew."

"I look forward to it, Cousin Mary. My mother and I will both be there."

Mary hid a grin and nodded. She turned and marched out past the flustered assistant.

Matthew closed the door and leaned against it.

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><p>.<p>

Dinner had been agony. Sir Richard had picked up on the tension between Mary and Matthew, no matter how much they tried to hide it. When they laughed at an incident on one of the farms, Richard glared at Mary and emptied his glass before slamming it down. Cora shot her husband a worried look. She cleared her throat and smiled sweetly, announcing that the ladies would withdraw to the library until the gentlemen came through.

"Mary," Lady Cora said and pulled her eldest daughter aside. "You have made your choice, darling. I know that you and Matthew have become close again during the last couple of weeks, but you are still engaged to Sir Richard."

"I know, Mama," Mary said with a heavy sigh. "The truth is that he is getting on my nerves."

"Are you saying that you are thinking of giving him up?" Cora hissed.

"Not at all," Mary said quickly. "I know what is at stake. So does Matthew."

"You told Matthew?" Cora said in disbelief. "About Pamuk?"

"I did. He took it rather well actually."

"Thank the heavens for that."

"I still love him, Mama," Mary said and sipped her port.

"I thought as much, darling." Cora caressed Mary's cheek and smiled sadly at her. "But does he want to marry you?"

"I honestly do not know. I know he loves me. He told me so."

Cora laughed. "Then give it time and try not to antagonize Sir Richard too much."

"Papa will be ruined if I break it off. What choice do I have, even if Matthew were to propose?" Mary hissed.

"Leave your father to me, darling."

Mary sighed as he mother walked away. Her eyes hardened as her sister Edith sidled up next to her.

"What were you and Mama talking about? It seemed rather serious."

"Not now, Edith," Mary snapped. "This does not concern you, so please stay out of it."

Edith gaped at her older sister's back as she sailed away from her to sit down next to her grandmother.

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><p>.<p>

Mary had managed to smooth things over with Richard and as the two spent some time together during the following days he seemed to be less tense. It was only when Matthew was present that he was on edge and kept watching Mary like a hawk.

Mary let out a sigh of relief when the car carrying Sir Richard to the train disappeared down the driveway. She smiled at Carson as he held the door for her.

"Thank you Carson."

He nodded and watched her carefully as she crossed the hall, disappearing into the library.

_To be continued…_

_Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts while waiting for an update._

_I live for reviews!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Rating**: PG-13 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: Mary sat silently by her vanity, staring out into space, contemplating her future. She would have to tell Matthew, there was no other option. Then she would have to go and see Richard in London. She closed her eyes and sighed.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

Thank you for the wonderful reviews and story alerts!

Nothing is more inspiring, than knowing that others like your work! :)

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

**Chapter 6**

Anna frowned and pulled a little tighter on the ties of Lady Mary's corset.

"Ouch! Anna!" Mary protested.

"I am sorry, milady."

Anna stared at the back of the corset. There was no doubt about it; Lady Mary's waist had changed. She walked around her and then looked up at her.

"Milady, are you feeling all right?"

Mary frowned at the question. "I have had an upset stomach, but nothing serious, why?"

"Your corset, milady," Anna mumbled. "It doesn't seem to fit as well anymore."

"What are you saying?" Mary said alarmed. "That I have put on weight? I do not think so."

"Milady," Anna said and took a step back. Mary stared at her and grabbed her arm. "Have you been intimate with a man?" she whispered.

"What?" Mary barked. "Anna, you are out of line."

"It's just that," Anna said frantically. "I think you might be pregnant!"

Mary sat down with a thump, not caring if it was ladylike or not. Pregnant! Her hand flew to her mouth and she stared at Anna with tears in her eyes.

"It cannot be," she whispered.

"If you are certain of it, milady, then I'm sure it is just a mistake."

"Pregnant," Mary whispered. She rested her palm against her stomach. "Oh God, Anna. What am I to do?"

Anna swallowed nervously. "So you could be? Pregnant I mean."

Mary nodded and made a sobbing sound. "As if things could not get any worse."

"I am sure that Sir Richard will be pleased," Anna said weakly.

Mary glared at her. "You know that it is not his child. Please Anna; do not pretend that you are not aware of things."

"My apologies, milady."

Mary nodded. She reached out to Anna and Anna grasped her hand. Mary clutched hard at Anna's small hand. Anna sighed and smiled sadly as she stroked Mary's hair whle Mary leaned against her and cried.

"I have to tell Mama," Mary whispered.

"What about Mr. Crawley?"

"Oh Anna, is there anything you do not know?" Mary said and laughed.

"When it comes to you milady I make it my business to know. It is the right thing to do."

"Thank God that you are not a gossiper," Mary muttered.

Anna chuckled and nodded.

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><p>.<p>

Mary became increasingly unwell in the morning and it was no longer any doubt about her situation. Resolute, she knocked on her mother's door one morning.

"Mary! Come in darling," Cora said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Mama," Mary said and sat down on the bed. She waited until O'Brien had left before addressing her mother.

"Is something the matter? You look upset, darling."

"I'm pregnant."

Cora just stared at her. "Mary! Surely you must be mistaken."

Mary shook her head. "There is no doubt about it. I am with child, Mama."

"Dear God in heaven. Whose is it?" Cora said and stared at Mary.

"Matthew's of course," Mary said quickly.

"Matthew's?" Cora gasped. "Mary! How could you?"

"Oh, Mama. Do not pretend that you do not prefer that I carry Matthew's child rather than Sir Richard's.

"Perhaps, but you are not engaged to Matthew."

"I do not know what to do," Mary said and twisted her hands.

"We will have to tell your father," Cora said and sighed heavily.

"No!" Mary exclaimed. "Papa cannot know. I would be mortified seeing the disappointment on his face."

"Too late to think about that now, darling."

"Oh Mama," Mary said and a tear fell.

"Oh, darling," Cora said and pulled Mary into a gentle hug. She held her daughter as she cried, now and then stroking her hair and her back. "Now, let's dry those tears and decide what to do."

"Yes, Mama."

"What does Matthew say?"

"He doesn't know," Mary said quickly.

"I see." She smiled at Mary and caressed her cheek. "I think the first thing would be to ask Dr. Clarkson to come for a visit."

"The servants will talk," Mary objected.

"Nonsense. You have had an upset stomach for a few days now. It is time the doctor took a look at you."

Mary laughed and nodded. "Of course. Why did I not think of that?"

"Once it is confirmed, you need to tell Matthew."

"You know Matthew, he will do the honorable thing," Mary said and sighed.

"Don't you want to marry him?" Cora said confused.

"Of course I do, but I don't want him to feel that he _must_ marry me," Mary said agitated.

"As long as the two of you are happy, who cares about the reason?"

Mary sighed and got up. "I will be in my room until Dr. Clarkson gets here."

Cora smiled and nodded.

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><p>.<p>

Dr. Clarkson estimated that Mary was about ten weeks along. She stared at him when she realized that she had become pregnant the first time she and Matthew were intimate. So much for the need of a French Letter, she thought.

She sat silently by her vanity, staring out into space, contemplating her future. She would have to tell Matthew, there was no other option. Then she would have to go and see Richard in London. She closed her eyes and sighed.

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><p>.<p>

Matthew sat down with a thump. He gaped at Mary as he was trying to comprehend the words coming out of her mouth.

"Pregnant?" he whispered.

"Yes, Matthew," she said patiently. "You're going to be a father.

"But, we've been so careful," he said and shook his head.

"Dr. Clarkson says that I'm about ten weeks along."

He made the math and like her came to the conclusion that this was indeed a love child. For the first time noticing the strain on her face he got up and knelt by her feet, taking her hands.

"I love you Mary, and we will make this right. This child will be loved as much as we did when we created it."

"Oh, Matthew," she whispered. "I am so scared."

He sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her against him. "Perhaps this was for the best?" he said softly. "You know that I want to marry you. Break it off with Carlisle and we will announce our engagement the very next day."

"Have you not forgotten something?" she teased.

"What?"

"You haven't actually proposed to me yet."

"Oh," he said and leaned back. "But you would say yes, would you not?"

"You have to ask me first," she said and laughed. "I would say that you have a pretty good chance, Cousin Matthew."

He made a face at her and she laughed.

"I am not going to do it now. I want to do it right."

Mary rolled her eyes. "If you say so."

"I will come up to the house this evening and we can tell your father together. " Then something occurred to him. "Or does he already know?" She shook her head. "No, of course not. I am still alive."

Mary laughed and squeezed his hand. "Oh Matthew, I am sure that he will yell at you, but you are the lost son. He adores you. This is the first time you have done anything remotely wrong."

"Let's hope that you are right," Matthew mumbled and tugged at his collar suddenly not looking forward to the conversation with Mary's father.

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><p>.<p>

Mary had been right. Lord Grantham had been furious, his face red as he sputtered out his anger over their behavior. When he finally sat down heavily in his chair they just stared silently at him waiting for him to say something.

"You have to get married quietly, and soon," he said and glared at Matthew. "I assume that you are planning on marrying my daughter."

"Of course," Matthew said quickly. He glanced at Mary. "That is if she will have me. I haven't actually asked her yet."

"Of course she will! She is carrying your child, Matthew. She _will_ marry you."

"Do I not have a say?" Mary asked, her face stern.

"No you do not," Robert snapped. "I think you have made enough bad decisions to be allowed to make another one."

"Papa!" Mary objected.

"Mary, you took Matthew as your lover while engaged to Carlisle!" Robert hissed, working himself up again. "God, where is this coming from? First Sybil, and now this. Is the world coming to an end?"

Matthew took Mary's hand, stroking it gently to offer his support.

"I think we were equally guilty, Cousin Robert," Matthew said honestly. "You should know that I do love your daughter."

"I know," Robert said and sighed heavily. "I am very upset with the both of you, but in my heart I know that this is right. I know that you will be happy together."

"Thank you," Matthew said and smiled. "I will do my very best to make Mary happy, each and every day."

"I know you will, my boy," Robert said and smiled for the first time. He glanced at the time. "I think we have been holding up dinner long enough. Shall we?"

Mary and Matthew followed silently as Lord Grantham headed for the grand hall where the rest of the family was waiting patiently to enter the dining room.

_To be continued…_

_Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts while waiting for an update._

_I live for reviews!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Rating**: PG-13 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: Breaking it off with Richard Carlisle had turned out to be just as unpleasant as Mary had envisioned. Her ears were still ringing by the time she returned to Grantham House at Eaton Square.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

Thank you for the wonderful reviews, favoriting and story alerts!

Nothing is more inspiring, than knowing that others like your work! :)

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

**Chapter 7**

Breaking it off with Richard Carlisle had turned out to be just as unpleasant as Mary had envisioned. Her ears were still ringing by the time she returned to Grantham House at Eaton Square. Matthew held out his arms wide to her and she walked into the embrace.

"It is done," she said in a hollow voice.

"Was it dreadful?" he asked and stroked her back to comfort her.

"Worse than you can imagine." She pulled away and looked up at him. "What time is it? Could we still make the last train for Downton? I honestly do not wish to be in London tomorrow if he decides to publish the story."

Matthew nodded and caressed her cheek. "I thought as much, my darling. All our things are packed. Anna is waiting for you upstairs to change for the trip. We can leave as soon as you are ready. I will have some tea sent up for you while you change."

"Oh Matthew, what did I ever do to deserve you?" she said and smiled fondly at him. She pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss. "Thank you so much."

"Always, darling," he said and watched her leave. Shaking himself out of his silent musings about how lovely she looked, he called for Thomas who had come with them for the trip. There were still a few things to take care of before they were ready to leave, including calling Downton to make them aware of their arrival.

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><p>.<p>

Mary was exhausted by the time the car pulled onto the long driveway leading up to Downton. She rested her head against Matthew's shoulder for a moment, relishing in the warm comfort from his arm around her. As the house came into view she sighed heavily. The lights in the windows made Downton look warm and inviting. It looked like home.

Mr. Carson was waiting for them and helped her out of the car. She smiled at him, thanking him.

"Lord Grantham and her ladyship are in the library."

"Thank you Carson," Matthew said and smiled. "I hope that we did not hold up dinner."

"His lordship felt that with no visitors and Lady Edith over in Ireland visiting Lady Sybil he and her ladyship would be fine to wait for you and Lady Mary. I was to let you know that you do not need to change for dinner."

"That is very considerate of Lord Grantham," Matthew said and handed his coat and hat to Carson. "I still think that Lady Mary would like to freshen up a little bit after the train ride."

"Certainly, Mr. Crawley."

Anna helped Mary with her coat and handed it to Carson who disappeared with them. She smiled at Mary.

"I will be waiting for you upstairs, milady."

"Thank you Anna. I will be up in just a moment."

Matthew gently took Mary's elbow and led her over to the stairs. "How are you feeling? Would you rather that I arranged for a tray to be sent up to your room?"

She shook her head. "Thank you, but I will be fine. I know that Mama and Papa are dying to know how it went with Sir Richard. No, I'll just have Anna tidy me up a bit and then I will be down."

He leaned closer and nuzzled her ear. "You look delightfully disheveled, Lady Mary."

"Matthew!" she hissed. "Someone can see us."

"They already know that you carry my child. Why would a kiss on the cheek upset anyone?"

"You know what I mean, Matthew," she said and gave him a mock glare. He just laughed and caressed her cheek.

"Go on, you mustn't keep Anna waiting."

She nodded and started up the stairs.

Matthew pulled at his waistcoat and adjusted his jacket before heading towards the library. Carson came out just as he was about to open the door.

"Mr. Crawley, your lordship."

"Matthew, my dear boy!" Robert said cheerfully. "We did not expect you back so soon, but it is a delight to have you back."

Matthew smiled and nodded; glad that Robert had changed his tone since last they spoke.

"Matthew, it is so good to see you," Lady Cora said and smiled at him. "How was your trip?"

"You look beautiful as always, Cousin Cora," he said and smiled warmly at her. "The trip was long and frankly, quite draining."

She nodded. "So it is done, then?"

"Yes. I will let Mary share the details since I have only heard them second hand."

"Of course," Cora said and smiled.

They spoke about the estate and the upcoming holiday while waiting for Mary to come down. Robert noticed that Matthew was acting a bit strange, as if he was nervous. He frowned and made a mental note to ask him about it later.

"Sorry for keeping your waiting," Mary said cheerfully as she sailed into the room looking beautiful as ever, not a hair out of place. No one would ever have guessed that she had just spent the last few hours traveling from London.

"Mary, darling," Cora said and kissed her daughter on the cheek.

"Mama, how are you? Papa?"

Cora smiled and nodded. "We are both fine." She looked over Mary's shoulder to Carson standing there. He nodded and Cora turned to Robert. "Shall we go in?"

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Dinner that evening turned out to be the most intimate affair Matthew had ever attended at Downton, with the sole exception of having sandwiches with Mary once, a long time ago. With only the four of them, conversation flowed easily and casually. Mary retold the events that transpired with Richard Carlisle. Only the tightening around Robert's mouth belayed how much Mary's words upset him.

"I am so sorry that you had to go through that," he said with a sigh. "At least he is out of our lives for good now."

"Perhaps," Mary said somberly. "I fear that if he does go ahead and make the story public; our names will be forever tied to each other."

"Let us not dwell on what might happen. If he does indeed go forward, we will not add more fuel to the fire. It will die soon enough. After all it is rather old news."

Mary nodded, hoping that her father was right. She smiled at Matthew when he put his hand on top of hers to comfort her.

Robert frowned at the gesture. To his knowledge Matthew had not yet taken the step that allowed him such liberties with his daughter. Then reminding himself that Mary was indeed carrying Matthew's child he again made a disapproving face.

Cora noticing her husband's reaction to Matthew's caring touch spoke up. "Mary darling, why do we not go in the other room and you can tell me about your visit to the tailor until the men come through?"

"Yes, Mama," Mary said politely and started to get up.

Robert and Matthew shot up as the ladies got up to leave. Once the door closed behind them Robert walked over to the bar and poured himself a cognac.

"What can I get you, Matthew?"

"A cognac would be nice, thank you."

Robert handed him the snifter and held his own in his hand, warming the amber liquid for a moment before taking a sip. It warmed his insides and he made a mental note to ask Carson to order some more of this particular brand.

Matthew felt Robert's eyes on him and he cringed. Before Robert could confront him, he spoke up.

"Please don't ask. I know that I have not behaved at all proper towards Mary," he said and sighed. "However, I plan on rectifying it very soon. Please do not spoil it for her by making me share the details."

Robert laughed and patted Matthew's shoulder. "Very well, dear boy. I have faith in that you will make things right with Mary."

"I will. You have my word."

"Good." Robert sat down and after carefully selecting a cigar from the case, snipped the end and lit it. He sighed and smiled at Matthew. "No matter what I have said and how upset I am over the two of you acting the way you did, I am very pleased that you went with her to London."

"Of course!" Matthew exclaimed. "I would never desert her at a time when she so obviously needs me."

"What was that old tale that you and Mary bickered over all these years ago?"

"Andromeda," Matthew mumbled.

"Yes, exactly! Perseus and the sea monster." Robert tilted his head and blew out some smoke. "Well, my lad, it seems that you are Mary's Perseus after all, even though she thought you a sea monster when she first met you."

Matthew laughed and nodded. "I think perhaps I was a sea monster. I was such a young fool back then."

"We have all made mistakes, Matthew."

Matthew shot Robert a curious look but Lord Grantham was lost in thought, gazing into the dancing flames in the fireplace. Matthew sipped his cognac, enjoying the quiet comfort.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary was exhausted by the time her mother decided to call it a night. The four of them walked towards the stairs. Matthew had asked to stay at Downton due to the late hour and having forgotten to call ahead to Crawley House. His mother was in Manchester visiting an old friend, so the house was empty, save for Mrs. Bird and Mr. Moseley. The thought of going back to the dark and empty Crawley house and wake them up at this hour was very depressing indeed.

Matthew and Mary stood at the top of the stairs for a moment watching Lord and Lady Grantham disappear down the hallway towards their bedrooms. Matthew took Mary's hand and pulled her close.

"Matthew," she hissed. "If Papa sees this he will have your head."

"How are you feeling? You look a little tired," he said, ignoring the threat of death.

"Honestly, I am exhausted," she said with a heavy sigh.

"Come; let me walk you to your room."

Mary linked her arm with his and they walked in silence the short distance towards her bedroom. Stopping outside he kissed her softly on the lips.

"Sleep well, darling. I will see you at breakfast. Perhaps if the weather permits, you will go for a walk with me?"

She smiled and nodded. "I much rather go for a ride, but Mama has advised against it in my condition."

"A walk it is then. We will make sure that Anna bundles you up nicely so you will stay warm."

She laughed and they came together for another kiss.

"You could come to my room later," he mumbled.

"Do not think I don't want to," she said and sighed. "Soon."

He nodded and stood there as her hand slipped out of his and she stepped through the door to her room. When the door clicked shut he turned and headed down the long hallway towards the bachelors' corridor.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew was getting more and more nervous with each step. The pond finally came into full view and he stopped, holding Mary close as a cold wind swept over them. She shivered as the raw damp air managed to get inside her heavy coat.

"Perhaps this was not such a good idea after all," he said seriously.

"As long as you keep us both warm," she teased.

It was the first time she had referred to the baby as part of her and he just stared at her before a huge grin broke out on his face. He laughed and grabbed her, swinging her around.

"Matthew! Put me down," she shrieked, grabbing his shoulder.

"Oh Mary," he said fondly and gently lowered her feet to the ground. He took her hands. "While you were busy with your tailor, I had my own little errand to take care of," he said a little vaguely.

"Is that so?" she said, her eyebrow arching up in curiosity.

"Yes." He took a deep breath. "I made a visit to our bank. More specifically to the Crawley bank box."

"What state secrets do you keep there, pray tell?" she asked with a teasing grin.

"Only boring ones, I'm afraid. Though I had something important there that I needed to retrieve."

Mary held her breath as he stuck his hand in his pocket and then knelt by her feet. He looked up at her and those intensely blue eyes sought hers.

"Lady Mary Crawley, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Mary laughed and nodded. "Yes!"

He opened his hand and then she finally understood. There in the palm of his hand rested the most beautiful ring she had ever laid eyes on. She gasped and covered her mouth as he pulled off her glove and slipped it onto her finger.

"Oh, Matthew. It is stunning."

"It was my grandmother's. My father gave it to me a long time ago, telling me that it was mine to give to my future wife. I decided six years ago to give it to you. It has always been yours, Mary."

Mary looked at the sapphire and diamond ring. The settings of the stones and the sleek gold made it evident that it was an early Victorian design. The blue stone reminded her of Matthew's eyes when he looked at her with passion.

"Come, my darling. Let us return to the house. I do not wish for you to get sick."

Mary glanced at the pond over her shoulder. "This truly is our special place. Just think that come summer we will come here as a family."

He felt warm inside and pulled her to him. "That is most definitely something to look forward to."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

As expected the whole house rejoiced at the announcement of Lady Mary's engagement to Matthew Crawley. After some careful negotiations they had decided on a small wedding in the village. Since Mary would start to show soon, they could not wait too long. Eventually the wedding date was set to December twenty first. Sybil and her family would arrive from Dublin on the fifteenth and Isobel would be back too, at that point. Lady Rosamund was not expected to arrive until the twenty second, but no one expected it to be hard to make her change her plans.

Matthew sat down and wrote to his closest friends from university and some of his business colleagues inviting them to attend. With the Downton staff the event still turned out to be rather big, he thought.

While the bans were read, Lady Cora, Edith and Mary took off for London where Mary would be fitted for her wedding gown. Mary was excited about the prospect, but at the same time she wished that they could just have been married in quiet, without any pomp and circumstance. Though when Mary saw the tears in her mother's eyes as she watched her in the almost finished wedding gown, Mary knew that this event was not just for her, it was for Downton, for all of them.

_To be continued…_

_Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts while waiting for an update._

_I live for reviews!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Rating**: NC-17 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: It's Mary and Matthew's wedding day. Everyone is excited about the event. Surprisingly Sir Richard Carlisle has been quiet and the future seems to finally be looking bright for our favorite Crawleys.

…

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

Thank you for the wonderful reviews, favoriting and story alerts!

Nothing is more inspiring, than knowing that others like your work! :)

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

**Chapter 8**

"You really do look beautiful," Edith said and met Mary's eyes in the mirror.

"Thank you, Edith," Mary said and smiled at her.

The two sisters had made up, thanks to Mary asking Edith to be her maid of honor.

"Are you nervous?"

Mary smiled and nodded. "Less than I thought I would be, but yes, I am."

"He does love you," Edith said and smiled.

"At least you don't have to worry about the wedding night," Sybil teased behind them.

The two sisters turned and grinned at their younger sister. Lady Sybil was eight months pregnant and her belly was huge. She was perched on Mary's bed, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach.

"I can only imagine," Edith mumbled.

Mary took her hand and smiled at her. "Your turn will come, and when it does, it will be magical."

Edith blushed and nodded. "Thank you."

Mary sighed and got up. "Shall we get this dreadful circus over with?"

"Mary!" Lady Cora exclaimed shocked from the door.

The three sisters burst out laughing at the look on their mother's face. She shook her head and ushered them out of the room and downstairs to where Lord Grantham was already waiting, pacing nervously back and forth. He stopped and looked up as they came down the stairs. His eyes softened and he held out his hand to Mary.

"Mary, my sweet girl, you look absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you Papa," she said and kissed his cheek.

"I saw Matthew a little while ago. The poor chap looked like he was going to be sick. I think he might have been shaking," Robert said and winked at Mary.

She rolled her eyes. "I am sure that he is nervous. I know I am. Still, we know each other so well, what is there really to be nervous about?"

Robert opened his mouth to respond, explaining the concept of raising three daughters and being a good husband, when Cora interrupted him.

"Now Robert, we really do not have the time for this now. You can give Mary all the advice you like – later. We need to get to the church."

"Or Matthew might take off," Sybil muttered.

"Sybil!" Mary exclaimed.

"Just joking," Sybil said with a huge grin. "If he is as nervous as Papa says, he might think you won't show."

"Can we please change this topic?" Mary said and made a face. "It is my wedding day. It is supposed to be a cheerful event."

"Mary is right," Cora said and gently pushed Edith out the door towards the waiting cars.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew twisted his head a little. His collar was itching and he wanted to tug at it, but knew that everyone's eyes were on him so he suffered in silence.

"Do you have the rings?" he hissed for the fifth time to Charles Watson, his roommate from university and also Matthew's best man.

"Old chap, the answer is the same as it was five minutes ago. I have them right here," he said and patted his right waistcoat pocket. Then his eyebrows shot up and he stuck a finger inside. "Or perhaps not. Maybe it was the other pocket?" he muttered.

"Charles!" Matthew hissed. Charles grinned and held up the rings. Matthew rolled his eyes and sighed. "You are a git, you know that?"

"Crawley, you worry too much," Charles said cheerfully.

"Can you blame me?" Matthew muttered.

The sound of the organ prevented any further conversation on the topic. They turned and watched as Mary came up the aisle on her father's arm, Edith behind them.

Robert smiled at Matthew as he placed Mary's hand in his before stepping back to take his seat. Matthew just stared at Mary.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," he whispered.

"Thank you, Matthew," she said softly. "You look very dashing yourself."

He grinned at her and then they turned their attention forward when the vicar started talking.

The ceremony seemed to be flying by and Matthew found himself holding Mary's hand, looking into her dark eyes as he slipped the ring onto her finger. He was proud that his hands were not shaking. He closed his fist and felt the ring adorning his hand warm up and become one with his hand. A blur in the corner of his eye turned out to be Edith, returning the bouquet to Mary. He held out his hand to Mary and together they walked down the aisle, forever tied together.

Mary had wanted an open carriage, but since it was December she had agreed that it was not the most sensible idea. So they had compromised with a covered horse-drawn carriage and it was into this Matthew helped his new wife as rice hailed over them when they exited the church. They laughed and he slammed the door shut. Knocking on the ceiling he let the driver know to take off.

"May I kiss my wife?" he asked and grinned at her.

Mary laughed and cupped his face. He kissed her soundly and within minutes they were panting hard as passion flared up. They had not been intimate since that day in Matthew's office, and both of them were starting to feel the strain.

"Do you think they would miss us if we skip ahead to the wedding night?" Matthew mumbled against her lips.

"Matthew, really?" she said and rolled her eyes.

"It's just that I have this sudden need to feel you naked against me," he mumbled and placed kisses down her neck.

"Oh," she gasped. Pulling away she put her hands firmly on his shoulders. "Matthew, stop it. I mean it. We will have all the time in the world for this."

"You promise?" he said and wriggled his eyebrows.

"I will more than make it up to you, tonight," she whispered and brushed her lips against his ear.

Matthew shook at the sensation of heat that set his body on fire. He swallowed and looked at her.

"My God, Mary. You sure know how to get your way with me."

Mary chuckled and sat back. She slipped her hand into his, intertwining their fingers.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Anna slipped out of the master bedroom, leaving Lady Mary standing alone by the fireplace. As a wedding gift to the couple, Lord and Lady Grantham had given Matthew and Mary the use of one of the previously closed off wings. Even though it was part of Downton, it was completely Matthew's and Mary's until the day when the entire estate would be transferred to them. It was as close as they could possibly come to running Downton now, yet it gave them the privacy a newlywed couple needed. They had their own kitchen and dining room, a small ballroom, a music room and even a cozy little library along with various other rooms they had yet to open and name. They could host their own events without permission from Mary's parents, and they could start their new life together without sharing walls and daily meals with relatives.

When Daisy had been picked as the head cook for the new Crawley household Mrs. Patmore had been bursting with pride. She had poured advice over the poor girl ever since Daisy had formally accepted the position. Daisy was both terrified and thrilled about the prospect. Lady Mary had always scared her a little. And the idea of being addressed as Mrs. Mason still felt very odd to Daisy.

Mary turned around and smiled at Matthew when he entered the room. She held out her hands to him and he took them eagerly.

"Matthew, darling."

"My beautiful wife," he whispered and kissed her forehead, gently treading his fingers through her hair. "It is the first time that I really get to touch your hair. I admit I have been looking forward to it."

"Come to bed," she whispered.

He nodded and led her over to their new bed. The heavy comforter and crisp sheets had been turned down for them on the large bed. Matthew faced Mary and gently pulled at the silk ribbon holding her dressing gown together. He caught is as it fluttered to the ground. Draping it over a chair behind him he untied his own and placed it over hers. Even though they had made love before, and no matter how well he knew her body, this was different. He gently placed his hands on her hips, pulling her to him. Their lips came together in a soft kiss. He smiled against her lips when he felt her unbutton his shirt.

Matthew allowed her to undress him. He smiled as he stood naked in front of her, his manhood already at attention. She chuckled and ran her fingers over it.

"Seeing you like this still makes me wonder how you can fit inside me," she said in awe.

"I think perhaps that he was made with you in mind," Matthew teased her and pulled her close.

He kissed her and slowly pushed the nightgown up over her hips and finally pulled it off all together. He gazed at her, trying to determine if her body had changed. Perhaps her breasts were a little fuller, he thought. He placed his palm against her stomach. She took his hand and pulled him down on the bed.

He made love to her slowly and gently that night. It was different to be in bed together and not have to worry about discovery. Her cries as she crested were the sweetest he had ever heard. He stroked and kissed her, bringing her to the edge over and over until she gasped that she could not take anymore. Completely satisfied he pull her close, wrapping his arm around her waist protectively as they burrowed deep under the thick covers.

Gentle snowflakes danced in the air outside as Mary and Matthew fell asleep next to each other for the first time.

_To be continued…_

_Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts while waiting for an update._

_I live for reviews!_


	9. Chapter 9

**Rating**: PG for this chapter, PG-13 if child birth makes you squeamish  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: By the time of the servants' ball Mary is starting to show. Matthew is exhibiting all the goofy symptoms of a devoted husband and father to be. Once the time comes, he yet again shows his stubborn nature by refusing to follow custom and not being present during delivery, instead sitting by Mary's side through her hours in labor.

**Note:** I realize that in Edwardian times it was very unlikely that the father would be present during deliver. However I think that Matthew is stubborn and strong enough to demand to be there, no matter what. Since Mary wants him there, nothing will keep him out.

…

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

Thank you for the wonderful reviews, favoriting and story alerts!

Nothing is more inspiring, than knowing that others like your work! :)

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

**Chapter 9**

Christmas and New Year's had been cheerful events, even with the heavy dark cloud of Bates' trial hanging over them. By the time the Servants' Ball came around, Mary was already showing a sizable baby bump.

Lady Cora smiled as she caught Matthew with his hand protectively covering Mary's stomach. She knew that he was not even aware of doing it most of the time. It was very endearing to her and she relished seeing them so happy together. Cora chuckled when Matthew started and stared at Mary. Mary smiled sweetly and covered his hand, pressing it against her stomach. His eyes widened and he laughed. Understanding what must have happened, Cora walked over to them.

"Mary, my dear, how are you feeling?"

"Wonderful, Mama," she said and smiled.

"It moved," Matthew gasped. "The baby." He looked down and moved his hand. "It kicked."

Cora chuckled and touched his cheek. "Enjoy it, Matthew dear. It is a thrilling experience."

He nodded vigorously and then stared at Mary's stomach expectantly as if the baby would move again.

"Matthew," Mary said and rolled her eyes. "Darling, it will happen many more times. Trust me."

"It is amazing," he whispered and rubbed his hand over her.

Cora and Mary looked at each other and burst out laughing at Matthew. He grinned and looked very proud with himself.

"Our child," he said proudly. "I'm sure he will be a real champion."

"I think _she_ will be yet another feisty Crawley woman who will have you wrapped around her little finger," Mary teased.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew sat on the bed holding Mary's hand. Lady Cora was sitting across from him, now and then wiping Mary's forehead with a cold wet towel. He could feel the midwife's eyes dig into his back, but he refused to leave. He had told her so hours ago, and his answer was still the same. Mary needed him by her side, and there was nothing he could not handle when it came to his wife's safety and wellbeing.

"Oh God!" Mary cried out as another contraction tore through her tired body.

"You're doing very well, milady," the middle-aged woman said from her spot by Mary's feet. "Not long now."

Mary gritted her teeth and let out another deep groan as her body tensed. She glared at Matthew.

"This is your fault," she hissed.

Matthew just smiled and kissed her knuckles.

"Push, Lady Mary," the midwife said sternly when the next contraction hit.

"I can't," Mary cried out and her upper body shot up from the bed. She was shaking and holding on to Matthew's hand for dear life.

"Yes you can," the woman said sternly. "The baby is coming, milady. Now push!"

Mary glared at her and cried out as she pushed, determined to get this child out of her body before it tore her apart. She fell down on the bed, letting out a long whimper.

There was complete silence in the room for about two seconds before another crying started. Matthew's head snapped around at the pathetic whimpering and loud, indignant cries. He got up and walked over to the midwife who was holding the messy infant in a soft blanket. She smiled at him.

"She is beautiful."

Matthew gasped and looked at Mary. "Did you hear, darling? We have a daughter."

Mary smiled tiredly. Matthew turned back to the crying baby and watched nervously as the midwife handed the little girl over to Anna to wash her. He stood silently watching as Anna scooped warm water over the tiny limbs. A small foot kicked in the air and he touched it, amazed at its softness and the tiny toes.

"She's perfect," he whispered.

Anna grinned at him and put the baby down on a clean towel to dry her before wrapping her up. She turned and held her out to Matthew.

"Meet your daughter, Mr. Crawley," she said.

"How?" he said awkwardly as he tried to figure out how to take her. Anna chuckled and placed the baby in his arms. "She is so tiny," he whispered.

"Lady Mary is all set now," the midwife declared behind him.

Matthew walked over to Mary and sat down next to her on the bed. Gently and only slightly clumsy did he put the baby in Mary's arms.

"She is just as beautiful as her mother," he said and kissed Mary's forehead.

"Oh Mary," Lady Cora said as she gazed down at her granddaughter. "She looks just like you when you were a baby."

"She has Matthew's eyes," Mary said and ran her finger over the soft black hair and down the baby's cheek.

Cora did not have the heart to tell her that most likely the baby's eyes would change in a week or so. And who knew, perhaps the girl would have blue eyes? There were plenty of blue eyed people on both sides of the family.

"Mr. Crawley, perhaps you should go and tell the family?" the midwife said, hoping that he would finally leave. A man had no business being present during delivery, she thought. It was just not right.

"Can it not wait?" he said, almost sounding like he was whining.

"The baby needs to nurse, or she will start to cry again," the midwife tried again, hoping to send him scurrying out the room.

Matthew chuckled. "If you think that the thought of seeing my wife's breasts as she cares for our daughter would upset me, you are very much mistaken. I find my wife beautiful, every part of her, and as far as nursing the baby goes, the very thought of it sounds magical."

Mary bit her lip trying not to laugh as the midwife's face turned red. For a moment she feared for the woman's life. She looked like she was about to have a stroke or a heart attack.

"Young folks today," the woman muttered to herself. "Well, the doctor will be in shortly to take a look at Lady Mary."

Matthew shot the woman a hard look. "What for? Is something wrong?"

"Not at all, but it is customary to have a doctor assess the situation to determine if she needs stitches."

"Stitches?" he exclaimed.

"She has just had a baby, sir," the midwife said patiently. "It puts some strain on the body. Sometimes there is slight damage. Nothing serious, but it needs to be taken care of to ensure proper healing."

Matthew blushed and nodded. "Very well." He looked at Cora. "Would you tell them?"

"Are you sure?" she asked eagerly.

"You are her grandmother," he said fondly. "I would be glad if you were to make the announcement."

Lady Cora left the room. The midwife gave Mary some gentle instructions in regards to the baby while Matthew sat stunned next to them watching as his daughter nuzzled against Mary's breast. The baby's little sounds and how she tried to find the nipple reminded him of a small kitten. Mary looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He smiled and felt himself get choked up too.

"Thank you, my darling," he said.

Once fed, the little girl fell asleep in Mary's arms. Her long dark eyelashes rested against her pale cheeks, now and then fluttering in sleep. Her mouth moved and she made a little smacking noise before settling in again.

Mary studied her daughter's face. She was tiny, and looked almost delicate. Her head was covered in fine dark hair. She had to admit that her mother was right; the baby did look a lot like her. Mary caressed the girl's soft cheek and touched her little mouth. It looked like a small rosebud, Mary thought. She laughed when the baby made a sucking noise again when she touched her lips.

"Lady Charlotte," Matthew whispered, saying their daughter's name for the first time.

"Her mouth looks like a tiny little rose," Mary said and smiled. "My sweet baby girl."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Downstairs Lady Cora almost ran into the library with the widest grin on her face. Robert shot up from his seat and looked expectantly at her.

"Well?" Violet said and made a face. "What is it?"

"A girl. A perfect little baby girl."

"I can't wait to see her," Isobel said cheerfully. "Did they decide on a name?"

Cora nodded. "Charlotte Margaret Crawley," she said proudly.

"After my mother," Violet said and nodded in approval.

"And Margaret after Matthew's grandmother," Isobel added and grinned at Violet.

"I will call the papers right away," Robert said and got up. He turned to his wife. "Did they say how they wanted to announcement to read?"

"They wonder if you would stand behind it," she said softly.

"We certainly will." He turned to Isobel. "And you of course, Cousin Isobel."

"Lady Charlotte Margaret Crawley," Edith said softly. "What a beautiful name."

"I believe that they will call her baby Lottie, but I am not certain," Cora said and smiled.

"Why this need for absurd pet names?" Violet said and made a face. "They have given the child a perfectly good name. Why not use it?"

Edith chuckled but quieted when her grandmother shot her a stern look.

"When can we see her Mama?"

"Perhaps you and Cousin Isobel can go up now?"

**_To be continued…_**

_Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts while waiting for an update._

_I live for reviews!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Rating**: NC-17 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: On a beautiful sunny day in early August, Matthew and Mary strolled through the green grass towards the pond. Mary held baby Lottie in her arms, careful to keep her in the shade from the parasol. Matthew smiled at his two girls as he walked by Mary's side carrying a basket and a blanket.

…

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

Thank you for the wonderful reviews, favoriting and story alerts!

Nothing is more inspiring, than knowing that others like your work! :)

.

**Chapter 10**

Baby Lottie had been born in early May. As tiny as she had been, the little girl had turned out to be a remarkably strong baby who ate and slept on a regular schedule, loudly voicing her annoyance with the world when her needs were not met.

Mary had taken to bring the baby over to her parents each morning after breakfast. Her mother would be pacing in anticipation of seeing the little girl, scooping her right out of Mary's arms to have a one on one with her. Mary did not mind at all.

Lord Grantham's behavior around his granddaughter should not really have surprised Mary since her father had after all raised three daughters. Still, seeing him with little Lottie in his arms, talking softly to her as he walked around the room showing her paintings and books and all sorts of things, made Mary warm inside every time. She knew that her father had hoped for a grandson, but watching him with his granddaughter, there was no doubt in Mary's mind that he already loved Lottie with all his heart.

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On a beautiful sunny day in early August, Matthew and Mary strolled through the green grass towards the pond. Mary held baby Lottie in her arms, careful to keep her in the shade from the parasol. Matthew smiled at his two girls as he walked by Mary's side carrying a basket and a blanket.

With the ease as if it was just yesterday Matthew spread the blanket in their spot by the pond. Mary put the baby down in the shade and sat down next to her. Matthew eased down behind her and the two sat in silence for a moment just watching their daughter sleep.

"She came to be, right here, almost to the day," Mary whispered and reached for Matthew's hand.

He took her hand and caressed it softly.

"I remember," he said and kissed her shoulder.

Mary stretched out on the blanket watching Lottie's darling face. She touched her little hand and smiled when the baby reached for her finger. She turned her head when she felt Matthew behind her. She giggled when he turned her onto her back, cupping her breast as he kissed her. Mary felt passion stir in her body for the first time in weeks. When Matthew started to unbutton her dress she gently stopped him.

"Not here. Not in front of our daughter," she whispered.

"Darling, she is asleep. Besides, she is only twelve weeks old. Even if she were to wake up and see us, I hardly think that it will scar her for life."

Mary made a face at him but when he kept stroking her thigh in a most delightful way, she gave in.

"Wait, don't remove my dress, just push it up," she said in a hushed voice.

Matthew grinned and raised her dress until he could reach her silky undergarments. He slipped them off with ease before pulling off his trousers and underwear. Mary giggled and pressed her face against his neck.

"Somehow this feels even more scandalous than last summer," she mumbled.

Matthew smiled and nodded. He kissed her as he slowly stroked her soft folds. He had missed being intimate with her, but he understood the effect of pregnancy on Mary's body. They had time. Still it did not mean that he had not missed it.

Mary sighed happily as he touched her. It felt so good. She wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. As he came closer she wrapped her leg over his hip and pushed against him. Matthew grinned and slowly eased inside her.

"Oh Mary," he whispered and his hold on her tightened.

The old dance felt new again as they moved together. Matthew pulled her leg up higher and pushed deeper, groaning at the delicious feeling. He moved faster and she held on to his shoulders.

"Your hand," she gasped. "I need your hand on me."

Matthew grunted slightly but pressed his fingers against her, circling her clitoris. She let out a high-pitched whimper and started to tremble. He knew she was close and changed to shorter, shallower strokes.

Mary pressed her face against his shoulder, crying out her release against him. She fell back on the blanket, gasping for air as he pushed into her one last time. She watched his face as he emitted inside her. For a second she wondered if they had just repeated what had happened a year ago. Had they created another love child?

Matthew eased back on his knees and lowered her legs around him. He was panting, feeling hot in the warm August heat. He opened his eyes and smiled fondly at Mary. She had made no effort to cover herself and he took in the beauty of her, her flushed face, her hair slightly mussed from their lovemaking and her sex, covered in a thick patch of soft dark hair. He wished that she was naked. He loved the feel of her slender body against his, and the wonderful softness of her small breasts rubbing against him. He felt himself getting aroused again and blushed when he heard her chuckle. She had noticed too.

"Turn over," he whispered.

Mary's cheeks turned a little pink as she realized what he wanted. She turned around, pushing herself up on her hands and knees. She shivered in anticipation as he moved her dress out of the way.

"Lady Mary, you have the most exquisite bottom," he said huskily.

"Matthew," she whimpered when he stroked between her legs.

Mary blushed at the naughty display having her naked derrière in the air like this, but what he was doing to her felt so good. She felt him grab her hips and push inside her in one deep thrust. She bit her lip to prevent crying out. He moved fast, each time slipping just a little deeper. She did not know that she could even take this much of him, but it felt so utterly fantastic. He rubbed her little spot again and she whimpered.

"I am so close," she gasped. "Slow down. I want to spend together."

Matthew gritted his teeth and stroked slowly over her soft folds while pushing faster inside her. He flicked his fingers over her when he felt himself swell inside her and they reached the peak together. Matthew wrapped his arm tightly around her and eased down on his side spooning behind her. He moaned as he slipped out of her and she shivered a little at the loss.

"God, Matthew," Mary whispered and turned to face him. "I really have missed this."

He kissed her softly, holding her against him. "I know."

Matthew watched her get up and walk down to the water. Mary was holding her dress in one hand as she walked out into the water to rinse off the traces of their lovemaking. The sun was starting to set behind her, bathing her in soft pink hue. He sighed at the beautiful sight of her washing herself.

The baby stirred next to him and made a little noise. When her eyes opened he smiled at her and picked her up, putting her on his chest. The baby cooed and smiled a toothless grin at him.

"My sweet girl," he said and kissed the baby's cheek.

Mary sat down next to them and gently took baby Lottie from him allowing him to wash off as well. When he returned she was nursing the baby, gently stroking the girl's soft cheek. He pulled on his clothes and stretched out next to them watching his two beautiful girls.

"She has your eyes," Mary said as the baby looked up at her when she was done.

"But everything else is you," he said. "She will grow up to be just as beautiful as her mother."

"Charmer," Mary muttered and turned the baby, waiting for the tiny burp. She stroked the girl's back and chuckled when she let out a very unladylike sound. "You got that from your father, of that I am sure."

Matthew laughed and their eyes met. Mary put the baby down between them and eased down, facing him.

"We are so very lucky," she whispered and smiled as the baby grasped her finger.

_**To be continued…**_

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	11. Chapter 11

**Rating**: PG-13 for this chapter  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. Set right after Lavinia Swire's death and explores Matthew's and Mary's lives from there on.

**Summary**: Baby Lottie squealed and shook her little fist, somehow managing to get it in the dog's mouth. Isis sat down and yawned, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as the little girl threw her arms around her. Robert laughed and Mary smiled, not at least worried about the dog hurting her daughter.

…

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

_..._

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**Chapter 11**

Isobel smiled fondly at her granddaughter who was sitting on her lap chewing on a small brown toy. The girl looked up at her, the gaze eerily familiar. Isobel chuckled when baby Lottie held out the toy to her.

"Thank you," she said and took the little dog from her. She frowned. It looked familiar. "Matthew, is this the same toy that you had with you when you came back from France?"

Matthew turned and looked at her. "Hmm?" Noticing the stuffed dog in her hand he smiled. "Yes it is. Mary gave it to me before I left, a good luck charm."

It was the first time he had told her the meaning of this particular item. She had thought it odd when he was so adamant about keeping it. Now it all made sense. _Mary_. All along it had been her. Mary had kept him safe in the trenches. Mary had cared for him when he came back wounded. Mary had prayed for him and worried for his safety, always in silence, always in private. No one had known. Isobel glanced at Mary and their eyes met, sharing a moment. If Isobel had ever wondered just how deep Mary's love for her son went, she now had her answer. Mary would go to hell and back for him.

The baby fussed and squirmed in her lap so she put her down on the floor. The little girl set of with surprising speed. Once little Lottie had figured out how to crawl she appeared to try to set new records every day. Mary kept an eye on her and smiled when Lottie sat down in the middle of the floor picking up another toy and showing it to her Mama.

"Yes, darling. You can play with it," Mary said to her daughter.

"Mamamamamama," Lottie chanted before it turned into a muffled sound as she stuck the toy in her mouth.

Matthew laughed at his daughter and she turned to him. She pulled the toy out of her mouth and held it up to him. He was too far away to reach it so he just smiled at her. No one paid any attention to the dog, sleeping by the fireplace, when she woke up by the girl's voice. Old Isis watched the colorful toy shaking only feet away from her, with interest. She got up and walked over, sniffing it.

Isobel gasped as the dog came out of nowhere.

"Get the dog away from her!" she said sternly.

Lottie squealed and shook her little fist, somehow managing to get it in the dog's mouth. Isis sat down and yawned, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as the little girl threw her arms around her. Robert laughed and Mary smiled, not at least worried about the dog hurting her daughter. Not even when Lottie grabbed onto the dogs fur and hauled herself up so she was standing did Isis complain. She turned her head and sniffed the girl's face. Lottie laughed and shoved Isis nose away. Isobel gasped, but no one paid any attention.

Isis took a step away, but Lottie refused to let go of her fur. As the dog moved, Lottie took a step closer. Isis moved again and Lottie followed.

"She's walking! Matthew, look! Lottie is walking," Mary cried out.

Surprised by her mother's voice Lottie let go of the dog and promptly fell down on her bum. Laughing in delight over her new playmate Lottie set off after the dog at an impressive speed. Matthew got up and scooped her up, holding her high in the air above his head. She squealed and drooled a little as he played with her.

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Mary inched closer when Matthew slipped into bed next to her. She chuckled when she remembered once commenting on her parents sharing a bedroom.

"What is so funny?"

"I was just thinking about what Mama and Papa must have thought when I once made a cheeky remark about them sharing a bed."

"Considering that you sleep naked?" he teased and pulled her closer.

Mary laughed and nodded. "Exactly."

"I can see the shocking headlines now. _The noble Lady Mary, daughter of the Earl of Grantham, sleeps naked next to her husband every night_," Matthew mumbled against her ear. "And the things she does to him, the things she allows _him_ to do to her. Scandalous I tell you. Absolutely, utterly scandalous."

Mary was laughing so hard she was crying. "Matthew, stop it."

"And if the Livingstones knew that the same Lady Mary had attended their main social event of the year not wearing proper undergarments, well that would be a story of such delicious scandalous nature London would need years to recover."

"Matthew!" she cried out and playfully whacked him on his chest. "That was all your fault."

"But very convenient," he mumbled against her temple. "I seem to remember you telling me something about a painting before you somehow lost all ability to talk."

Mary's face was red and she hid her face against his chest. "It will never happen again. You should not have done that. What if someone had seen us?"

"You seemed very eager to participate," he said and nodded. "Yes, very eager indeed."

Mary sighed and glared at him. "You are very full of yourself Mr. Crawley."

"I just happen to know that my wife loves me, and that she is a passionate woman. _Very_ passionate in fact."

Mary pushed up and kissed him. "Speaking of passionate. There's something I have meant to discuss with you."

"Oh?" he said and instantly sobered up.

"I was thinking the other day that I don't want Lottie to be an only child, but at the same time I don't know if we are ready for another child quite yet."

"I see," he said and nodded slowly while contemplating her words.

"If we were to wait until autumn, then the baby would be born in late summer and Lottie would be about two."

"I guess I need to get a bigger supply of French Letters then," he said and winked at her.

"You would not mind?" she asked, her palm pressed against his cheek.

Matthew shook his head. He pulled her close and kissed her. "My part is pretty small. You are the one who have to carry our child and give birth. If you want to wait, that is fine with me."

"Thank you."

"How about getting some practice in tonight?" he mumbled against her lips.

"Mr. Crawley… that sounds like a very good plan," Mary said and laughed.

...

TBC


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